The Brit Awards

So, for a couple of odd reasons, I ended up watching a repeat on ITV about the Brit Awards, and their vote for the favourite guest act of all time. Imagine my surprise when they got onto Jacko’s Earth Song. This was, if you recall, the song where a drunk Jarvis Cocker proved he was more than just a beanpole singer with a regional accent by climbing onstage and mooning the crowd, to mock the sheer pomposity of Jackson’s performance (which you may remember seemed to portray Jacko, every child’s favourite sleep-over guest, as a little bit too much like Jesus for most people’s tastes).

Now, I know this because I watched it on TV. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t in the crowd. I was home, watching it on TV. How surprising then when Mel B announced that Cocker’s stage invasion would have to remain the preserve of the people who were there to see it, as no footage existed of the alleged incident. Eh? I know the footage exists, I’ve seen it.

So, is this some sort of conspiracy by ITV to hide the shameful past of the Brits? They seemed quite happy to feature Brandon Block. Perhaps 30 Rock is right, and The Black Crusaders are pressurising ITV into editing out history. Who knows, but Cocker’s stage invasion would have been my number one moment of Brits history, if only it existed.

So in its place, I have to nominate The KLF for best performance at The Brits. Surely a no-brainer: in 1992,The KLF take to the stage to perform 3am Eternal with their friends Extreme Noise Terror. What resulted is, to me, a classic Brits performance and far better than the saccharine bullshit of Take That’s Beatles Medley. In fact, if you look closely you can see Bill Drummond fire a machine gun into the crowd (about 2.30 in). Awesome.